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June 13, 2009

Needles

Since three months ago, the stomachache I usually feel during the first day(s) of my period is sooooooo torturing. Since then, my Mom forced me to make friends with um........ needles. I was forced to go to the acupuncture clinic, routinely. It was not good, really. I just don't get its function until now. The pain I felt growing even more frustrating. I can't eat even if I'm so badly starving. If I eat, I will puke in no longer than 5 minutes after that.

So in brief, the acupuncture thingy doesn't work. I don't know for sure though, my Mom said that in need time(s) but I just can't stand it Mom, it has to show me a sign of succes in healing me unless I won't do it again.

Selanjutnya gue akan menggunakan bahasa indonesia. haha
Jadi, setelah akupunktur, ibunda nampaknya tidak jera dan menyodorkan pengobatan yang setipe dengan akupunktur kepada saya. Pengobatan ini, yang menurut saya dapat dikategorikan sebagai penyiksaan, memang lebih ekstrim daripada akupunktur itu. Penyiksaan ini disebut bekam. Metode penyiksaan ini adalah dengan membuka pori2 daerah tertentu di tubuh dan mengeluarkan darah kotor (yang tidak mengandung oksigen) dari pori2 tubuh tersebut. Dengan penyiksaan ini, punggung saya sukses berubah menjadi saringan. Periiiiiiiiiih bgt. Ya, namanya juga luka. Mengingat buruknya diagnosa penyakit yg diberikan dokter kepada saya, saya hanya bisa pasrah mengikuti segala prosedur pelancaran darah dan hormon sebagaimana disebutkan oleh si mbak.

Hasilnya? Sekarang, mandipun sudah sulit untuk saya.

June 09, 2009

In certain way

"What doesn't kill you will make you stronger"
That quote is really really right. I experienced it myself. About a week ago I was given a problem, which drown me to the very bottom of my life, since I never stand a family problem. My own big brother got my nerves. I'll just say that not prioritating your family is a very big mistake.

Last night I went to Santi's home, she's a bestfriend of mine. I said to my Mom that I'm going to learn chemistry there, so she allowed me to--although she didn't believe me at first and decided to drive me there. Well actually I just want to take my PDL (Pakaian Dinas Lapangan), but since there'll be my boyfriend too, I decided to stay longer hahaha

Before last night I really lost my grip of myself, eventhough I didn't feel sad or gloomy anymore, sometimes I just felt this unease feeling swirling in my stomach. But then in Santi's house I got that feeling off me. I told her everything that bothers me and she acted percisely like I want her to. We spend minutes cursing my older sibling--I bet his ears got itch. I didn't care about the number of sins I'll be having from cursing someone older behind his back, it's worth it. I feel like I had screamed my mind out. We stopped talking when Edwin came though, but that didn't matter. I had finished cursing every single thing about my brother hahaha.

That makes me believe that every human, not just me, have enough strength to endure every pain, have enough ability to solve every problem, have enough joy to ease the sadness, if only they believed. Cause God loves us, in certain way.

June 08, 2009

Scores Updates

At last, the school exams had ended! Oh sorry for the late post, I really intend to update this blog of mine but I'm lacking of idea of what to write recently--I kept deleting words I had typed since they didn't really describe what I want to tell.

I should thank God of giving me quite a luck in doing the exams, my scores dazzled me. Although they aren't so good, but they're far above my expectations. Some of the scores haven't been told yet. So far only Biology who turns me down. Here is the list of my scores:

1. Matematika
estimasi nilai: 76.67
nilai: 90
komentar: THANK GOD. IT'S A MIRACLE.

2. Pkn
estimasi nilai: 80
nilai: (nggak remed)
komentar: nilainya nggak dikasih tau, cuma ada keterangan nggak remed aja. Alhamdulillah deh.

3. Agama
estimasi nilai: 70
nilai: (nggak remed)
komentar: Alhamdulillaaaaaaaaah

4. Kimia
estimasi nilai: 70
nilai: 84
komentar: speechless. way too good for me.

5. Bahasa Indonesia
estimasi nilai: remed
nilai: (via sms dari devina) tidak remed
komentar: "sumpah demi apa dev gue ga remed bindo?"

6. TIK
estimasi nilai: pasti nggak remed, gampang bgt
nilai: 91
komentar: biasa aja sih. tapi tetep bersyukur hahaha.

7. Seni
estimasi nilai: 75
nilai: (belom dikasih tau)
komentar: semoga gambar minimalis itu masih bisa dikasih nilai 75 sama Pak Udi.

8. Fisika
estimasi nilai: 60
nilai: (belom dikasih tau)
komentar: semoga nggak remed. tapi nggak mungkin deh kayaknya hahaha

9. Penjasorkes
estimasi nilai: 70
nilai: 72
komentar: entah remed apa nggak, yang penting bayar 50 ribu setahun hahaha

10. Biologi
estimasi nilai: 50
nilai: (remed)
komentar: katanya sih mau dikumulasiin sama nilai yang dulu-dulu, semoga aja jadi nggak usah remed amin

11. Jerman
estimasi nilai: 90
nilai: 92
komentar: hamdalah

12. Sejarah
estimasi nilai: 50 deh
nilai: (belom dikasih tau)
komentar: soalnya nggak sesuai sama bahan yang dikasih -_________-

13. Bahasa Inggris
estimasi nilai: 80 keatas
nilai: (belom dikasih tau)
komentar: semoga estimasi ini nggak terlalu tinggi.

June 03, 2009

Stop Crying Your Heart Out

Hold up
Hold on
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone

May your smile shine on
Don't be scared
Your destiny may keep you warm

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why're you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change
What's been and gone

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

We're all of us stars
We're fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out


Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out