I've posted this somewhere else actually, but still want to post it here.

Benar atau salah itu relatif. Tergantung dari sudut pandang mana. Tergantung punya pengetahuan seluas apa, se-update apa. Tergantung kemampuan pikiran untuk menyimpulkan. Tergantung kecenderungan individual. Tergantung kepribadian masing-masing. Tergantung posisi yang dijabat. Dan banyak 'tergantung' lainnya.

Kadang benar atau salah juga tidak penting, mengutarakan pendapat toh tidak dilarang. Ada kalanya yang salah akan tetap bertahan pada poin yang dipegangnya. Bukan keras kepala, tapi mempertahankan diri. Bukan tidak mungkin seseorang kesulitan berdiri.

Yang tampak kuat bukannya tak pernah rapuh. Yang tidak punya basis pertahanan butuh pertolongan.

Benar atau salah bukan poin perbandingan. Look deeper. I'd be lying if I say it doesn't hurt.

18th

Almost forget to post about my 18th birthday... and it's almost a month ago lol. To make things short, I'll just say it was really sweet. I got four birthday cakes, and it's really more than enough. The first one was from my brother, a tiiiiiny slice of cake (but still, it's a cake) given to me at midnight. I was sleeping and he barged in, it was embarassing cause he also brought his friends along. It was really surprising to be surprised by someone like him but anyway, I got to thank him. The second one is from my family, a blueberry cheesecake, my favorite. I got another cake the next day, this time from my friends at FMUI, a blackforrest. Remembering that I have only known them for about four months, I think it was really kind of them, giving me surprise.

And the last one, though not given the last but I prefer to tell you this the last as it worth a special place, was an oreo cheesecake from my boyfriend. I was really mad at him some moment before his sudden appearance in my house, because he did not seem to pay a deal of attention to my birthday, and in our case, our second anniversary. But suddenly he appeared, along with some of my beloved friends, surprising me to death. I was convinced that he was in Bandung at the moment so it was really really out of my prediction. Got to thank Niken, Nasya, Nindya and Santi too :)

Unfortunately that day had ended, just like the year 2010 and this post. Happy New Year, and... see you later on!

H-E-L-L-O!

Well, hello. It's been a reallllly long time. I'm currently being kept busy by college life, and I have that other tempting blog site too, so there happened a super long hiatus of me writing here. But then just some minutes ago, I got the urge to write here again, even though I don't know what to write. Okay, here goes.

I'm currently in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend. Distance...is really a pain in the ass. There are times I wished I could lean on his shoulder and whine as much as I want for the stressful new life in the university. Well technology helps, in many ways, but it's not enough. And there are also times when we both were too tired or too busy to even send some texts or make some calls. However, we're getting through it, fortunately :) I hang on to these words as I face this distance....

This got to be true.

source

We've been together for two years last December 11th, and I hope I'm still going to count for the upcoming years ~(._.~)(~._.)~

Well. I guess that's all for now, gonna text later!

This Morning

This morning, I had done my prayer, cleaned my room and tidied it up, swept the house, washed the dishes, cooked (although it was some mere plain fried eggs), helped my little sister took her bath and put on her uniforms, taken my own bath and done my breakfast, uploaded yesterday photos to facebook, and even posted something to this blog, finally :")

And I'm gonna meet my boyfriend soon.

I feel good, and alive, yes. Have a nice day.

How do you know when you’re in love with someone? Is it when he’s the first thing that comes into your mind when you wake up and the last thing that you think of before you go to sleep? Or is it when your heart melts every time he looks into your eyes? The truth is, the signs come in a thousand different ways.

When you’re having a really bad day and hearing his voice on the phone just makes it all go away. When all you want to do is listen to him talk passionately about his plans for the future. When you would sacrifice your shopping time just to cheer him up on the field. When a mention of his name makes you miss him so much. When all you want to do is staying up and taking care of him when he’s sick. When your face glows every time you meet him. When even the way he laughs and eats and sleeps fascinate you. When you realize you can finish each other’s sentences. When you can recognize his perfume from miles away. When you laugh when he laughs. When you love seeing the reflection of yourself in his eyes. When you can’t stop smiling every time people talk about the two of you. When you remember him in your prayer. When you feel that he’s the only one who can understand you. When everything that makes him happy will make you happy, no matter how hurtful it is inside. When you’re often torn between your own egocentricity and your feelings for him. When you’re really mad at him but all you want to do is cry on his shoulder. When you can’t help glancing at him every other second as you’re both in the car and he’s seriously watching the traffic.When you actually enjoy the moment when he’s teasing you eventhough you’re pissed. When you dreams of yourself being married to him with kids. When you want to be the woman who makes him coffee and puts on his tie every morning. When you’re seriously reconsidering the relocation because it means leaving him as you move to another country. When you find his boyish whining attitude is endearing. When you find his snoring endearing. When you have your own nickname for him. When every time his name pops up in your inbox you smile. When you gladly wipes his sweat as he changes your flat tire. When you find his singing entertaining eventhough he can’t carry a tune. When you forget when was the last time his name doesn’t cross your mind. When you can remember perfectly the sound of his funny laugh, his fake laugh, and his amused laugh. When he’s the only face you want to be on your 500 bucks Anya Hindmarch be-a-bag. When you would stay awake just to watch him sleep. When you’re seriously thinking of getting a tattoo of his name on your left hand. When he makes you happy and makes you cry at the same time. When you want him to always be your ‘imam’ when you’re praying. When you’re glad that you can be helpless sometimes because it means you can rely on his strong arms to help you. When being with him makes you want to be a better person. When everything could go wrong in the world and it’s okay, because he’s there, with you.

taken from Ferinda's Xenon Flash

Finally.....

......subhanallah, still can't believe somehow. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

Under the Bottom

Arguing about things waste your time. If you still have your mind for determining which one is right or which one is wrong, you'll end up running all your time out without you noticing. The point is not right or wrong, true or false. The idea is not what you think, but what you feel on the opposite party. The fact is that there exists someone out there who is affected by your actions, either right or wrong. And that they do feel pain.

For The Day To Come

source: here

It's for having a person who is willing to accept everything in you and wait patiently to hear you say, "I'm home."

What I Did During Indonesian Test

The things I like about this world
are how there exist a huge number of words
waiting to be spoken
or to be written

and how there are billion ways
to extend and deviate the meaning that each word bears

and how there are different ways to hear
a same word here just by judging the way they appear

and the fact that I do stop myself from any other thing sometimes
just to think how to make this rhymes


RLA

This is a hard time. The time when the rest of the future rely on. The time when a hell lots of effort have to be given. When sacrificing some fun is necessarry. When killing other unimportant desires to pursue one so-called dream is the only thing you think you should do.

Do you really think that this hard time will be over soon? Do you really think you will acquire a lifetime goal by throwing your true self away? Do you really think it is fair to you, or even to other people around you? Do you think you can reach that enormous achievement of yours while forgetting your already-in-hand treasure? Or do you, actually, think that what you already have right now is not that valuable compared to what you're going to get? Do you really think it is just one of the sacrifices that you should give away?

Do not think that I'm against all the fighting. I'm with you. But, open your eyes. Have fun.

Seventeen Pieces of Crappy Things

I make excuses.
I tell lies.
I procrastinate.
I hate organized things.
But when I have them organized, I hate it when they fell apart.
I don't know what I wish to be.
I am green with envy.
I get annoyed easily.
I hate waiting.
I ever really wish to be sick.
I used to be just fine with myself, but I'm not anymore.
I hate having to depend on others and the fact I still do.
I can't tell what I want to say.
I'm living in a wake-eat-bath-study-eat-study-eat-bath-study-sleep cycle that never ends.
I wish to be able to stop studying without any guilty feelings haunting me after.
I hate school.
I do want to be sick right now.

Trust

It's like walking blindfolded, with someone with soft voice keeps telling you to keep going no matter what. And you're too helpless you have no other choice than trusting. You were thinking of giving up sometimes, but your hope of brightness is the only thread you're hanging onto. You know more than any other that the only thing you should never given up is this tiny hope in your palms. You can't live without it, you can only wish that that hope will not wither even in winter.

"...but I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell.

I know right now you can't tell,

But stay a while and maybe than you'll see

a different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired

I know right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

and how I used to be, me."

Matchbox Twenty - Unwell

Call Me Unreasonable

Sometimes you don't need reasons for your actions. You do things merely because you feel like doing it. You love someone or something simply because you love them. You hate things because they're not your liking. It's as simple as that. Reasons are important, but not in every single bit of life. Rather than seeking for the reason, appreciating is much, much better.

What will you do?

So, another year has passed. I got to admit that eventhough I've gone through 17 new-years until this time, and I do understand that there's nothing 'happy' in new year, I'll still say, happy new year! That's really a hypocrisy, but whatever.

I don't mind celebrating new year and I love it, in some ways. I have a friend come over my house and we killed the time by watching movie and do some girly quality talk. But still, the inevitable fact about new year is that another year of your lifetime is taken away. And there's no way in hell you could take them back.

What do you think about your time? What is the price of your second? A second passed so fast you wouldn't notice that it had already gone. Tick. Look, another second has gone again. And we don't think we're affected by those passing seconds. They don't really matter, do they?

Then wait until your plenty of seconds had been cut to almost nothing. You'll remember your unsatisfied desires; your dreams and wishes that you still had not reached; your family, friends, and lovers who you had not given adequate love yet. Tick, tick, tick. You're panic then, you're afraid that you'll lose your time again.

So, what will you do?

While you think............ Tick.

you'd waste your time if you read

greetings.

the thing about today is that this is the last day of 2009. this post will be another piece of trash, but whatever, I just don't have any other thing to do. yes it's new year eve, but I'm stuck here with nothing to do. so let me just hurt your eyes with some pointless words.

and the thing about ending this year is, doesn't it feel sad? a bit, at least? 2009 to me is a whole 365 days full with enormous things, vary from the monstrous to the tiniest ones. to recall them one by one is not a thing normal human can do. I'm still normal at much points I suppose, so I won't recall them, not one by one.

just now I'm trying to acces my so-called memories of 2009, my brain millions of scenes I'd passed. honestly, some of them were really ridiculous, yet precious and meaningful. to many people my days would be really ordinary, but to me, they were really really important. priceless.

okay honestly i don't know what else should i be typing and i know this post has really no point but forgive me, i really need to do something before my head explode out of boredom. gonna kick some pillow. bye for now, wish you a happy new year!

I am a gorgeous cheerleader with a nice smile. I punched Taylor Swift because I'm a pimp.

You've opened it!
You will have bad luck for four weeks!
But, if you re-post this,
You will get kissed by your crush on Friday!
Re post as "I am a ...."


What color of shirt are you wearing?
Red: Silly.
Brown: Cute.
Green: Gorgeous.
Blue: Sexy.
White: Muscular.
Aqua: Freaky.
Yellow: Innocent.
Purple: Little TOO happy.
Black/don't remember: EMO.
Orange: Funny.
Gray: Dumb.
Pink: Preppy.
Light pink: Sweaty.
Multicolored: Tree- hugging.
Other: Hot.
None: Sexy beast.

What kind of pants are you wearing?
Skirt/Skort: llama.
Corduroy: Cage fighter.
Skinny jeans: Pothead.
Shorts: Cheerleader.
Ripped Jeans: Skater.
Cammo: Hillbilly.
Jean short shorts: Whore.
Jeans: Prep.
Cargo: Clown.
Sweats/basketball shorts: Gangster.
Booty shorts: Bum.
Pajama Pants: Slut.
Checkered: Taco lover.
Nothing: Mother banger.

What is your NATURAL hair color?
Dark brown: With a hot boyfriend/ girlfriend.
Auburn: With a broken heart.
Red: With a hot butt.
Black: With a nice smile.
Dirty blond: With a hot body.
Brown: With beautiful eyes.
Blond: That flirts too much.
Strawberry blond: That is to much to handle.
Light brown: With amazing eyes.

You opened it, now you have to complete it.
Or something very bad will happen to your loved one.
READY SET GO!!
Pick The Month You Were Born In:
1. (jan) - I ran over.
2. (Feb) - I kicked.
3. (Mar)- I slapped.
4. (Apr) - I injured.
5. (May) - I ran shirtless with.
6. (June) - I modeled with.
7. (July) - I smoked with.
8. (Aug) - I ran with.
9. (Sept) - I kissed.
10. (Oct) - I robbed.
11. (Nov) - I hate.
12. (Dec) - I punched.

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1. Barack Obama.
2. Lil Wayne.
3. Michael Jackson.
4. Zac efron.
5. Nick Jonas.
6. Paris Hilton.
7. Madonna.
8. Miley Cyrus.
9. Lady Gaga.
10. Elmo.
11. Taylor Swift.
12. Spongebob Squarepants.
13. Soulja Boy.
14. Lil' Mama.
15. Katy Perry.
16. Britney Spears.
17. Ryan Sheckler.
18. Big Foot.
19. Randy Jackson.
20. Mariah Carey.
21. Colby O'donis.
22. The Black Eyed Peas.
23. Simon Cowell.
24. Flava Flav.
25. Chris Brown.
26. The Cookie Monster.
27. Akon.
28. Barney the Dinosaur.
29. Paris Hilton.
30. Ronald McDonald.
31. Jenifer Green wood.

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
None: Because I'm SEXY like that.
Black: Because I love weed.
Pink: Because I'm crazy like that.
Turquoise: ​Because I like to snort cocaine.
Brown: Because gummy bears raped me.
Polka Dots: Because I'm a tranny.
Purple: Because I'm gay.
Grey: Because I like shoelaces.
Yellow: Because I'm retarded.
Green: Because I'm a pimp.
Orange: Because I'm a mental retard.
Red: Because I love sex.
Blue: Because I have AMAZING boobs.
Tye dye: Because I'm a fucking scuba diver.
Graphic: Because that LOSER stole my taco.
Coral: Because a dolphin took my baby.
White: Because i have a great body.
Neony: That's just how I roll.

She Was Mine

So I hopped on a train

Three in the afternoon

I don't know when I'm coming back

But I hope it's soon

See I'd never thought, never thought that I'd leave your side

It's only physically

But now that you'll be on my mind

Twenty four hours at a time

Cause in my eyes you were mine

No matter where you go

I won't be very far

Cause in my head I'll be right there where you are

Cause love has no distance baby,

Love, love has no distance baby,

No, not when it comes to you and me

See she wrote me this letter

Said the weather wasn't better

But she said that she's doing fine

I wanna see you face to face

That's what she wrote to me that day

and I knew it was all a sign

So I wrote back with this song

Promise it won't be too long

Wanna make up for all our lost time

Cause in my eyes you were mine

No matter where you go

I won't be very far

Cause in my head I'll be right there where you are

Cause love has no distance baby,

Love, love has no distance baby,

No, not when it comes to you and me

So I'm looking through this boxes

My life's gone off track

Cause it's been three years

She hasn't written back

But in my eyes

She's still mine

I know it sounds stupid

to be waiting this long

But I'm still in love and I know I'm not wrong

Cause in my eyes

She was mine

No matter where you go

I won't be very far

Cause in my head I'll be right there where you are

Cause love has no distance baby,

Love, love has no distance baby,

No, not when it comes to you and me

She Was Mine by A.J. Rafael feat. Jesse Barrera

~I know this lyric is somehow cheesy but whocares, I love it!

Could you differ?

When you were learning how to ride a bicycle, you'll ask a person to place a good grip on your bike, so that you won't fall.

The first time you were learning how to walk, you'd like someone to watch your back, so when you're about to fall, that someone will catch you, will leave you no harm, you're safe and sound.

Now that you've grown up, things changed a bit. You'll walk, yes, this time without anyone get a hold on you or to catch you when you fall. But in this path you're walking, you'll eventually find a person, a certain person, who will help you to stand once again everytime you fall.

ingin ditemukan

"sedang apa?"

"mencari orang."

"orang siapa?"

"si pasangan."

"mengapa?"

"karena setiap orang yang hilang ingin ditemukan."

RLA, 221209. 10:33 a.m.

The Hundredth, 17th, and the First.

I’m not gonna say “sorry for the lack updates” again, since that phrase seem had become quite famous in many posts of mine and in other blogs of others too. I opened this blog, now and then, but just stuck in the middle not knowing what to write. But now I have something I'd regret if I don't tell. Here I welcome you to the hundredth post of my blog!

Well, there are reasons why I keep postponing typing the words here. First of all, being a 12th grader is not an easy task, it keeps me from doing my routines which I love most like posting something to this blog, or even go surfing. Surfing the cyber world, I mean. The whole homeworks, tasks, exams, and also try outs are giving me a very severe and torturing pain in the ass, to the point where I originally think that I can’t do these kinds of things anymore. I still managed to watch some movies and DVDs though, thank God those watchings are able to keep me sane.

And my family and I moved into a new house. This moving doesn’t make a huge impact though, you need less than 5 minutes to reach my new house from the old one. Actually I hate moving. It’s silly how you need to unload your stuffs from your cupboard, your table, your bookshelves and other places, then you pack them into boxes, and you carry the boxes all the way to your new house, then after you arrive you need to get your things out of the boxes again, and lastly, you need to reload your shelves and cupboards and table with the appropriate things again. Isn’t that a hell lot tasks to do? Not to mention moving the furniture. So that is also my reason of not posting, I’m really, really exhausted. I even caught flu from the number of dusts I inhale. The only thing I love from moving to this house is that my room is pretty. And I love it so much. I’ll describe it later, cause I’ve got a bigger things, more important issue –at least for me- that I’d like to say.

I’m 17 years old now, yeaaay! ;p

I know I’m getting older and my lifespan is getting shorter but 17 is still 17. Like a birthday will always be a birthday. Someone doesn’t turn into 17 everyday, right? So based on that logic, I’d like to reserve my right to enjoy this day. The turning-seventeen thing actually doesn’t make any big impact on me. I’m not different than the person I was yesterday, though in some points, I’m improving. But this improval doesn’t really happen the second I’m a year older, it took place somewhere in the year I’m passing. It’s not like the things in games like Pokemon or whatelse in which when you reach a level, you’ll evolve. Our life is much more greater than games, put in account that every single thing we do evolves us in ways we might never noticed.

Sharing about the birthday event, God grants my wish to enjoy the day with every fraction of the second in it. To be honest, I knew that there'll be something someone gonna give to me. To be more exact, I was expecting a surprise. I know that's sad and many of you would think things like, "Oh you expecting a gift, or whatever? Poor you." But let me say that this is just normal. Why couldn't you expect something special on your special day?

Okay, let's continue. Judging the clues that have been given here and there, I know that my expectancy was not wrong. You know, the surprise thing and sort of. But I really don’t expect seven friends and a boyfriend of mine would show up in my room in the middle of the night while I was fast asleep. They are Edwin, Fandy, Astra, Pretet, Nindya, Syiki, Santi and Niken. They barged in to my room and woke me up by singing Happy Birthday. This was the thing I didn’t grasp a foresight. There are this huge board showing photos of my friends greeting happy birthday, and they were scrapped in a book too, not to mention the musical box and blueberry cheesecake. To sum it up, if you ask me a question goes like, “what do you think about today?” then I’ll answer, “Today is my day. It is totally sweet.”

Here are the evidences of the midnight surprise:

The best cake brought by the best man

Me opening the gift. It is a musical box with the tiny bear inside spinning when you open it. Oh I know my hair looked weird.

the board with the photos. Thanks for the greetings, all! :)))

the surpriser and the surprisee ;p

More words for December 11th 2009, it is me and my boyfriend first anniversary :---)))

We’ve been passed through all the rough times, so let’s just forget them and continue on, shall we? You’re so great that I’m so grateful to have you. Happy 1st anniversary boy, te amo!